God Speaks Through Fountain Drinks

We had to skip school most of the day yesterday. Only got a few things done. Why? Because we've had a major disaster with the insurance company over claims on little Bee. Seems they don't want to pay his doctor because we weren't using the one on his medical card they assigned him - but we only just got the medical card 15 days ago and had no idea we weren't using the right one. Not to mention my husband's company needed proof of his birth (other than the hospital bills and his social security card) or they were going to retro-actively drop him from coverage entirely. That would put a whole lot of financial stress on us, so we figured it was priority to skip school and get it handled. I was on a mission to get hospital documents to prove the existence of baby Bee and thus have a stack of medical bills paid and off my desk.

After loosing a school day and feeling a bit frazzled with all the paperwork and laundry piling up (and make-up work for my lesson planner)... and after paying bills (which always gets me in a bad mood), I had another one of those "man, I stink at homeschooling" and "we're never going to get stuff accomplished" moods brewing. Ever have one of those?

So we ate at Chipotle with grandma and tried to enjoy the 103 degree sunshine. Nothing like a good dose of Chipotleness to cheer me up.

Despite the fact that I'm nursing (a baby that naps in short doses), I decided on a Coke with my meal. They had one of their funny signs on the fountain drink machine. I chuckled after reading it: "Not a Winner". Then, out of my spirit, I heard the still small voice of truth:

"You know, I'm sure glad God still thinks we're worth saving even when we aren't winners."

Wow.

I'd hate to be labeled as a looser like that spigot up there. Wouldn't you? Aren't you glad that God meets you where you are and lifts you up, dusts you off, and smiles at you? He keeps blessing you even if you aren't perfect and don't pull everything off with ease.

That's even better than Chipotle at correcting a bad mood.

So we enjoyed our refills on soft drinks and the rest of our day - even though we didn't get everything we had planned on our lesson planner done.

I Promise 2 Bee More Domestic

My good friend Domestic Chicky the Apronista had a contest for a free apron last week and I won! I won a 56$ apron!

This will be my very first apron. I kid you not. I'm nearly ... well... let's just say I'm not 20 any more, and I've never owned an apron. Of any sort.

I'm so excited!

I had my husband help me pick one out. He and I didn't agree on apron design. But then again, he thinks aprons are dumb. And he thinks I'll never wear it. BOY IS HE WRONG! I told him, "I'll show you! I'll get all domestic and stuff."

He rolled his eyes. "Heather, we've been together for 18 years. I think I know you by now. You probably won't even wear that thing. Why don't you just ask her to let you buy a tote bag."

Humph. What a killjoy. OK, I'll admit that a tote bag is probably more my style with all the homeschool books I lug around. He calls me the 'bag lady'.

I'm going to show him, though! I'll learn to sew and start cooking lots of new stuff. You watch. Just as soon as my paper cut heals... and the bookshelves are finished being sorted... and the house is spotless... and the closets are cleaned out... and the school assignments are finished being entered in to my planner... and the kids have all their chores done without me nagging...

Eventually.

Oh, well. At least I managed to learn to cook without an apron on all these years. Now I'll look cute in the kitchen making dinner. So there. I'm going to wear that apron every day! I'll show him.

Who knows? Maybe I will become more domestic. Maybe the apron will give me domestic super-powers. Wouldn't that be cool to instantly learn how to sew and quilt? A girl can dream big apron dreams...

No Bake Cookies: Your Butt Will Hate You

The other day I got a craving for a little gem of a cookie that I hadn't made for years. I see them at The Market where I work and I endure a fierce battle in my mind every time a customer comes through with a pack of them. Because I've lost 15+ pounds in the last few months and those cookies are The Devil.

But then I got sick and had my girly time (sorry boy readers) at the same time and well, my defenses were down. I made the cookies. In fact, I made them twice. Only the second time, I did remember to take pictures so the 2% of you who have never made these can see how it's done.

The beauty/evil of these cookies is that they are super quick: to make and to eat mass quantities. And most of us have the stuff in our cupboards already. DRAT! It's too easy!! You can find the recipe I used here. But I have to say I was bummed because I used to have one from my grandmother for these and it's now in the same wormhole as a couple remotes I lost and one of my favorite striped socks from last winter.

Here you can see you'll need milk, butter/margarine, peanut butter, chocolate chips, quick oats, vanilla, and SUGAR.

I do this the lazy way. I use one big pot and mix it all in there. I hate washing dishes,so it's not likely I would use another bowl unless someone was holding a knife to my throat. Anyway, throw the stick of butter in there, along with the milk...

...and the massive amount of sugar.

Then stir it a little and bring it to a rolling boil. That means boil the heck out of it. This is VERY important: once it really starts boiling hard, set your timer for one minute. You absolutely MUST boil it hard for one minute. No less. Or else they won't set until the next day and everyone will be eating goopy cookies from a plate with a fork. Not that I would know anything about that.

After a full minute has passed, quickly add the other stuff in. The recipe I used says peanut butter is optional. They blaspheme. Peanut butter is NEVER optional. I spit on you Optional Peanut Butter Fools! Unless you are someone who will suffocate from peanut allergies, then I guess that would be cool to leave it out. We don't want any of that going on.

Add the oats. Which are the only healthy thing going for this cookie. It's because of the oats that I am duped into eating mass quantities every time I make them.

You'll want to finish stirring the rest of the stuff in there quickly because if you boiled properly, this stuff will already begin to harden a bit. So don't mess around. No texting or twittering or Facebooking or plucking chin hairs in between the steps.

Get some wax paper and plop some globs onto it. Don't make them too big or they'll set slower. Then you have to wait to eat them. That stinks.

I've had varied results with the setting time. Sometimes they set within 15 minutes. Sometimes they don't set until the next day. They say that has to do with the boiling thing. I say it has to do with the economy. Why not? Everyone blames everything else on that.

One should really work out after eating these. I'm just saying. But I've been sick, so I haven't worked out. And I ate a lot of them. I have a feeling you will too. They were totally worth it.

Love in Him,

Pepperoni Stromboli: with Bacon of course!

You might be tempted to ask: What the heck is a stromboli? Basically, it's a pizza rolled up into a great big sandwich. If that sounds like something you want to ingest, then keep reading.

That photo looks like an advertisment for Aldi. Obviously we do a lot of our shopping there. Don't judge. You're going to need that stuff and the stuff you can't see; like cornmeal (optional), spaghetti sauce, a baking sheet and an appetite. For a complete list of ingredients and measurements, I've made a google document that you can print out. It's here.

For now, I'm just going to cover the basic steps with some well-timed photography. Join me or starve.

Let me just say here that a kitchen aid is a huge help in this recipe. I used to make bread products without it and honestly I'm not sure how I survived. But you don't have to have one. No biggie. We're not even going to knead the dough. As with any recipe for bread dough, the water needs to be warm. Really warm. But not so hot it will burn you. Unless you're a sissy.

Add the yeast. I use the kind in the jar, but whatever. If you buy the packages 4 1/2 tsp would be 2 packages.

Go ahead and add in the sugar and salt. Let it bubble and get all disgusting looking. It should be disgusting enough in about 5 minutes.

Let's discuss the oil factor again. You can use vegetable oil if that's all you have. But for the love of Mike, do yourself a favor and get some olive oil. It's worth the expense and your arteries will thank you when they get all flushed out and whatnot.

See how's it all bubbly? That's good. Real good.

Time for the flour. Don't be chucking the whole amount of flour in there like some kind of spaz, ok? Start with 2 cups. Flour is a fickle chap and will turn on you if you don't handle it like the delicate baby he is.

When it looks like this, you're getting close. You'll want to continue to add 1/2 cup of flour at a time, then mix. See down at the bottom of the bowl where the dough is sticking big time? That means you need a little more flour.

Now see how it's starting to let go a bit? That means don't add any more flour or your dough will be stiff.

By this point you might be tempted to think this is way too much work. If you are, then go sit in the corner. You need a time out. Once you taste this stuff, you'll be glad you put forth the effort. Once that dough is mixed, roll it out onto a floured surface into a large rectangle about the size of your baking sheet. And before you transfer your big dough rectangle to the baking sheet, there's one step I didn't get a photo of due to gremlins busting my chops. Get some cornmeal and sprinkle it on the baking sheet after you spray it down with cooking spray. The cornmeal makes a really nice texture on the bottom of the crust.

You don't have to have it though. It's not that big of a deal. Just a nice touch.

Once you've put your dough on the sheet, it's time to doctor it up with goodness. Spread the spaghetti sauce down the middle in a big strip. Not all the way to the edges like pizza. Then sprinkle cheese and pepperoni's. It really doesn't matter which order with those two. And lastly, BACON BITS! Use the real ones. If you have to ask why, I don't think we can be friends anymore.

I made this for years without bacon and let me tell you, I always had a strange hole inside me that I just couldn't fill with anything else. A bacon shaped hole. Now I feel complete.

Turn the ends up over the filling.

Then turn the sides up over that and pinch all the edges closed. You don't want any of that goodness leaking out.

On the top, drizzle olive oil and sprinkle bacon bits and oregano into the oil. Oh my.

Throw that puppy into the oven at 375 for about 30 minutes. This is the tricky part. Sometimes it won't take that long. You have to be checking on it like a sneaky toddler that gets too quiet.

Set your timer for 20 minutes and when the whole thing is nice and brown, it's probably ready.

Despite your best efforts, some of the cheese will escape. But it's ok. You can eat those little globs when no one is looking. They're the best.

You don't want it any more brown than this.

See how the cornmeal attaches to the sides and bottom? It's lovely.

When you cut it open down the middle, it should look like this. If by chance the cheese is not melted, don't freak out. There is NO freaking out with stromboli. Just slide the two sides back together and stick it back in the oven for 5 or 10 minutes. I've done it a lot.

This is where you decide if you want to call anyone else in to eat with you. Personally, I could eat way too much of this stuff. I'm limiting my white carbs these days because I find I can go a little nutso with the bread. But every once in awhile, you just need some white carbs. Because maybe it's been a bad day or you're trying to put yourself in a coma.

One night of stromboli will actually do you a lot of good.

for a printable recipe: go here
email me with questions and let me know how it goes!

p.s. there is an alternate way to make this with the frozen bread dough. You would just thaw it out all day, then roll it out like it says up there. But I never have that stuff around because I make my own dough a lot cheaper and simpler. I felt it was only fair to let you in on that bit of information.

Now go forth and conquer.

Love in Him,


**entry for 5 Minutes For Mom Food Fun Contest!

Frying Up Some Heaven

Because Carrie loves me - she let me put her recipes here. You might even call her a CONTRIBUTOR. Sounds funny when it refers to this little neglected food blog. But not any more. There are some good eats comin' your way. Carrie and her granny are gonna see to it that we share their Kansas home cookin' with the world, baby.

Added bonus: She's really hilarious.

Read on...

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I'm not much of a food blogger, but I'm all for making this blog as random as possible in spite of all the sage advice from "expert bloggers" that one's blog should have a theme. Well, to them I say, "I have a theme. It's wrangling. Mostly gremlins, but sometimes food needs wrangling."

And speaking of wrangling food, what do you do when you are sick of homegrown tomatoes? It happens. Since I am not a die hard tomato lover, there comes a point in the growing season that I've had enough. Then I start to pawn them off on whoever will take them.

Then I remember that one recipe I get the pleasure of making once a year. Fried Green Tomatoes. You either love them or hate them. As a youngster, I hated them. Now? Oh my.



And I wanted to share that goodness with you. Just in case you love them. Or think you might. So if you have any tomatoes growing out in the yard, go grab some firm green ones. Or if you have a neighbor growing some, go take them. But wait until it's dark because they might have a bow staff with your name on it.

Better yet, just ask permission. And let's discover how to get this little piece of heaven to fry nice and golden in our skillets!



I'm going to assume you are literate, unless you're my sister, Kristi and only come here to look at my pictures. (Hi Kristi) Just joking. She knows how to read, she just refuses to. Anyway, this recipe is super easy, so I won't go into mind numbing detail on every step. Just take a peek at it and follow along. I used this one.



Besides green tomatoes, you'll need some other random stuff. It's on the recipe. And yes, you have to have colorful plates for each ingredient. A CD of bluegrass or Lynrd Skynrd is also helpful for that Southern mood while you cook.



If you're in a hurry, remember that after you slice these, they need to be sprinkled with salt and pepper. Then they need to sit for 15 minutes. The purpose is so they can sweat. Mmmm, sweaty tomatoes.



While those are sweating to the oldies, I want to reveal my secret ingredient. It's not on the recipe that I linked to. What goes better with tomatoes than bacon, I want to know? Genius.



Ok, now we've got some sweaty tomatoes. Don't be grossed out by this. All that will fry out.



Then you're going to take each slice through the steps per the recipe. Milk first.



Then flour.



Then eggs.



Then bread crumbs. Or corn meal. Whatever.



Then fry them. IN OLIVE OIL. If you want to eat a lot of these relatively guilt free, use olive oil. Not shortening or even vegetable oil. Olive oil is good for you! And while the first side fries, sprinkle your bacon bits on the top so that when the uncooked side gets kind of mushy, they will adhere to the breading.

Then when you flip them over, that whole side will be brown and bacony. Oh my goodness. Bacon!



When they're done, they should look like this.



And you have to eat them right away! No reheating allowed or recommended. Let me know how it goes if you give this a try. But hurry. Green tomatoes are not around for much longer!

P.S. Did you like my food tutorial? I can do more. It was fun! Or should I just stick to wrangling gremlins? Be honest. I can take it. But watch your back.